'My boyfriend dumping me transformed my life and doubled my salary': 1 year later

Let's recap on their original confession!

I started an entry-level finance job after college which was just above minimum wage (£20k). I’d met my ex a year before I started, and after we had been together 2 years he decided he wanted to go travelling for a year using inheritance money and asked me to go with him. I made the compromise that I would use some of my savings and we could travel for 3-6 months. Everything was going great until after I handed in my 4-week notice. All of a sudden he got cold feet and felt guilty that he was asking me to give up so much. He did this over text and then started ignoring all messages, and gave absolutely no explanation for this sudden change of heart. After 2 years together, us planning everything and booking flights, he fell off the face of the earth. I could’ve easily cancelled my flights and asked to revoke my notice, but I knew I would’ve been taking the easy way out just to cancel.

So I re-arranged my travel dates, applied for another finance entry-level role just before I left - and managed to land it with a £30k salary! I started the job and quickly realised it had a very toxic work culture. I applied for 20+ new jobs and finally got offered a job with an oil company (£35k), and then a week later I got offered a role for £40k in a hospitality company - I accepted. I’m 3 months into my £40k job and I love it. I still can’t believe how different my life was a year ago. I thought my life was over after he finished it, yet I still got on that flight and had the most amazing 6 weeks. Then the cherry on top was that I’ve managed to double my salary - and it’s only just the beginning of my career! If I’ve learnt anything it’s that we need to bet on ourselves more. It’s made me realise how resilient I am and how I should be taking more risks.

Where are you now? E.g. how has current life/job/salary developed etc

I am thriving with the same company! I had my first annual review last year and got a £5k pay rise and then was able to lead not one, but 2 projects, which meant travelling all over Europe. I am on track for a promotion at my next annual review at the end of December, which will take me up to £55k-60k bracket!

Is there any lessons taken from the situation that you still use in your daily life?

I have so much more confidence within myself, not just within my personal life but professional too. I am no longer scared to ask for what I want and I will confidently use the word no if something doesn’t align with my values. I always think back to ‘what’s the worst that can happen’ and remember that even if the worst happens I can bounce back.

You said it made you think that you should take more risks/bet on yourself more. Do you have any examples of you doing that recently?

Taking on a sole mortgage was my next ‘big’ risk, especially a £200k mortgage where it’s just me paying in. It’s an amazing achievement but also can be daunting at times. I had visions of buying a property with a partner, settling down, and sharing the responsibility, so as much as it doesn’t fit the vision teenage me had, I am happy that the property is completely mine. No one to argue over paint colours with or what to put in the spare room, plus it’s a surreal feeling knowing that I am the first female within my family to own a home without a partner.

How do you feel about him and what he did to you now?

I have made peace with what happened, and he reached out to me around 12 months ago to apologise and I got my closure. He tried to explain his reasoning for everything but it doesn’t really matter why he done it; he broke my heart, but it has led me on the path to where I am meant to be.

Where do you think you would be financially if you had stayed together?

I would’ve wiped out all of my savings had we still been together, and home ownership would’ve been out of reach for years. Plus I’d probably be in Australia on a working holiday visa with no real direction, which would’ve been fun for a year but it was never me. Going travelling for a few months was on my bucket list, but a career was my real dream.

Do you think what happened shaped what you look for in a partner?

Yes, I have more confidence within myself to know what I want and to not settle. I am now dating someone that I met through connections in my current job, which would never have happened had he not dumped me! I want to go back to myself 2 years ago and give her a hug. I wanted to be with my ex so badly I was happy to put pause on a career and wipe out so much of my hard earned savings for a dream that wasn’t fully mine.